The Ultimate Sleep

© 1999 Paul Cooijmans

III Dr Fabius - Dr Cageman - The Black Sisterhood

"...Yes sir, I know it says score report in six to eight weeks on the Milk-Bottle test, but now Dr Fabius has his causal body he's so busy administrating the universe that I hope you won't hold it against us if for once we overstep that period for one or two days... I admit, seven years is more than two days, but... 'right sir, I'll see to it your test is scored first thing tomorrow. You always get what you paid for, that's our motto. And please, don't call us again, we're trying to conduct the administration of the universe here you know!"

"Well handled, Girl Number Eight! That score sheet? Just file it again. Oh, don't forget to take the money out first! Yes, use the archive over there in the corner. The round, grey one."

- - -

Dr Cageman was browsing through his newly bought book, "Who's Who in Upperland". "Strange", he thought. "Why's half of it illegible? What type of letter is this? I'm in it, but what's behind my name?" And he contacted the publisher to find out.

"Please use publication with care, Dr Cageman. You're our prime judge; make no mistake."

Disappointed Dr Cageman read the reply; now he still didn't know the info behind his name! What a mysterious message... and several letters appeared to be misprinted and illegible; same malfunction as in the book itself it seemed. Wait... the crooked letters looked just like those next to his name in "Who's Who..."... but this time he had a context to decipher them! Excited the doctor decoded the italics to become aware of who he was.

- - -

"The Black Sisterhood of Space Girls thanks Girl Number Seven for her lecture on astral travel. We'll all work hard to create ourselves an astral body like she has. And don't forget next week's lecture on how to achieve Ultimate Sleep, by Girl Number Eight, private secretary to the Administrator of the Universe; she has powers beyond Girl Number Seven, and possesses a heavenly body." Sheila Lomanesco stepped down from the stage, looking any age from twenty to forty in her deep blue sarong. Just about to conduct a regression session with one of the Space Girls who suffered from a bad case of alien abduction, she turned her head: "What's that? I sense a presence... is it an elemental? An essence? An emanation? Everybody activate your higher emotional center! Let's get the intruder! Careful, Girl Number Two, don't let him borrow energy from your sex center!"

With united forces the Space Girls trapped the presence, that turned out to be the astral body of Tom Reaping, the famous Austrian abduction therapist. "Eavesdropping, are we?", Sheila bit at the empty space before her. "Nein, nein!", a voice boomed. "I was consulting Astralnet to do research for one of my clients, when I got accidentally locked in in your spacegirl.666 site. I couldn't get out! It gave me plenty of time though, to put it euphemistically, to study your work on reincarnation and Ultimate Sleep. Fascinating! I'm seeing Gurdjieff tonight, causally speaking, just before his astral lecture on Rhythmomachia as a way to harmonize the nine psychic centers, and will ask him if he knows of research in this field that may be of help to you. And have you consulted the ancient Greeks on the matter? Also, Boethius, Plutarch, Pythagoras, Newton... I can get you copies of their unpublished works if needed. Incidentally, I spoke to Thoth yesterday in his Hermetic Library in 36th century Thebes; did you know the old moon god's republishing his writings and issuing a new Tarot deck? Let me hear if you want it at a discount."

- - -

" 'Paul Cooijmans'? ", Dr Cageman wondered. "What a bizarre name?! How pronounce it? Am I really 'Paul Cooijmans'? Or is this a key or clue to help unravel the rest?" Confused the doctor leafed back and forth in the mysterious reference work. Only then he saw the book's author was given as 'Paul Cooijmans'.