In his quest for membership in the world's most exclusive society, Polymac Systems' supercomputer has now begun working on the Test To End All Tests, which he found in Oats Magazine, published by Professor L. Ron Hölin. Though the items strike your editor as obscure, bizarre or simply WEIRD, Mr Orange is enthusiastic: "Acquired knowledge is the best indicator of IQ, so this must be a valid test. I also like the absence of the time-efficiency factor, that causes so much psychometric distortion in other tests, lumping testees in different "IQ slots" while having equal abilities but different personal tempos, completely destroying the effectiveness of the so-called "standard tests". I intend to take and pass this mother of tests, that fits me like a van!" (Let's not forget M. is a six-foot mainframe - editor.)
To enable our readers to crack their minds over the same puzzles as famous computer M.O., we got permission to publish the entire test verbatim:
These problems may be taken as a parody on the type of analogies appearing in many IQ tests. When attempting this test, you may use reference aids (including time machines) but not consult other persons, either before, during or after taking the test. No time limit. Send in your solutions with US $5. Mention name, age, sex and scores on previously taken tests, including the names of the tests. Score report in two weeks.
These analogies have unique solutions; even the ones that seem unsolvable have clear, sometimes crushing, answers. Study the already completed analogy before beginning. Strict reasoning will give you direct insight into a bloodcurdling future.