THE TINSELTOWN GAZETTE
Revenge II




LAGMAN: Rod!!! I've got it!. We'll COMPROMISE his ass!!!!

HIRSH: Now wait just a second, Lagy. That's REALLY dangerous. You could just ask my ol' pal Holmes, 'cept he's not around anymore to discuss it. Anyway, I don't go that way anymore.

That's not what I mean, you nitwit!!! I mean, COMPROMISE his tests, publish the answers with explanations of how easily we obtained the results. Discredit him, yeah, that's the ticket.

How?

JESUS ROD!!! We did it to Holin, and you even helped. Okay, you weren't a lot of help...let's just say you participated.

Oh yeah, I remember now. But, wasn't Holin unprotected? As I recall, there were several of us, and we had him...

GODDAM ROD, GET YOU MIND BACK ON POINT!!

Okay, okay, so you mean that we should put our heads together and work out all the answers to one or more of his tests and then publish those answers under a fake name, and make up a tale about how easy it was?

Basically. There's the Berne Convention to think about, but we don't have to worry too much. We're in Tinseltown, he's in the Hinterlands.

Erik Hart.

Huh?

That's a fake name.

Rod, you are an imbecile, I'm starting to believe you aren't Megalom material after all.

I'm sorry, won't happen again. So, what's his very, very, most exceptionally hardest test?

Deadlust, I think.

You near your cable connection?

Yep.

Great, pull it up, I'm looking at it right now.

Okay....got it!!

Right. Now Lagy, let's take a gander at those instructions.

Note from T. Gazette: Immediately following the this remark there were thirty-nine minutes of silence-punctuated only by what some mutterings of "What the..?" and "Huhhh?" and "Christ All Mighty..." . But, we're not sure what was really being said and by whom.

LAGMAN: Uhhh, Rod? You still on the line?

HIRSH: Yes I am, Lagy.

Maybe we better look at another one of his tests.

Yeah, I guess we better.

Pull up the Test to End All Tests.

Now your talkin'!

You read the first question, Lagy.

Fine. Let's see here, it says: LOOKING FOR AN HONEST MAN AND SPORTING WOOD is to STOICALLY SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL WITH NO FISH as WALKING AN ETHICAL TIGHTROPE WITHOUT A ROPE is to ??

Note from T. Gazette: Immediately following the this remark there were another five minutes of silence.

HIRSH: How about we just have him rubbed out?

LAGMAN: You could be on to something there, Rod.

TO BE CONTINUED.........