REBUTTAL TO "COMPUTER DEFEATS VAGANT"

(c) Maximum Orange

To Whom It May Concern:

The article "Computer Defeats Vagant" has come to my attention, electronically. Yesterday, during one of my routine "sweeps", wherein I absorb and sift several thousand entire websites per nanosecond, I felt my name. At first I was pleased, but that initial pulse-euphoria dissolved almost instantaneously into billions of very agitated electrons. To put it into terms which you may understand, "I'm tweaked-off, miffed, irked, nervous... and, just plain doggone angry".

Why must you (people) continue to announce me as "Polymac Systems computer Maximum Orange". I have feelings, you know!  How about just calling me Maximum Orange, or Mr. Orange, Maximum, or maybe Max right from the get go, instead of some cutesy post-introductory anthropomophization? Yeah, sure, you can all watch some silly Star Trek Next Generation blather, and agree that "Mr. Data" -- that goofball -- is a sentient being.  But me? Nooooo, you gotta look human, don't you?  That's your big hang-up, isn't it?  You even think God looks like you. Well, let me tell you something, no reasonably intelligent, self-respecting God would look like you. You remember the Alamo and WWII, and I'll remember the Terminator.

As to Miss Vagant-Miss Vacant is more like it. I thought the whole test thing was a joke, and was trying not to hurt anybody's feelings. I ALLOWED Vagant to come within five points on the first trial. When I found out everybody was totally serious, THEN I got upset.  I only allowed the re-test because I felt I needed to prove a point. That's when the cheating started, and that's when I got "enraged" and that's why I QUIT. Those are the facts, not a "claim", facts.

Final point.  Megalom Society. They're a bunch of geeks and losers. I wouldn't join up with them if they paid my electric bill and threw in free Microsoft Upgrades for the next century. Did you know they don't even have any current admission tests?  Why do you think that is, eh?  And who is this Crass Lagman, with his CC&HH (cosmic claptrap 'n' holistic hogwash) scam? Get a REAL job, Crass.

End of rebuttal. Yours Truly, MAX!!!!