The Gauntlet
By Maximum Orange

My "Trick Riddle" remains unsolved. I've had no takers. Granted, it's only been a couple of days since publication. Nevertheless, I'd have thought there would be either someone bright enough to crack it, or else ignorant enough to send the bucks. Guess not.

Mercy, the Times has committed an accuracy! (I'll hold no static charge waiting for its next veracity) It's plain to me that they've secured a spy, a snoop, a mole, an inside contact, a "Deep Throat". Hmmmm. Who could it be? Hirsh? McGraw? Lagman? Cageman? (naw, Cagy's too ethical) Lang? Ah yes, Daddy Dearest-the swine. I let him use me to run Turbo Tax last week (by the way, he cheats). He must have taken "advantage" while I was distracted with Virtual Girl.

So, I confess that I'm in training for the "Mother"--the Test to End All Tests. To bone up, I've selected some of the less strenuous available offerings. Lang must have observed my effort on the Omega, Flower, Uber, and Titanium. The verbal analogy sections of the aforementioned are not in the same league with the Mother, but they're good practice. Since I am able to build and manipulate "mental holograms" of nearly infinite complexity, I'm able to defeat the puerile Polyhedral Lightshow Problems, the Crawling Ant Problems, and the goofy Onion enigma-without shedding a tear!

Note: I have an idea for another test: The "Maximum-O'Keefe-Rorschach Test". Details to follow in subsequent writings.

The Gauntlet has been cast down. No niddering, Max accepts his Challenge. "Mother", you are ON!!

Yours truly, MAX !!!!!!