A HEAP OF VITUPERATIVE
By Coyote, Wile E. (Super Genius)
The warnings of Troy Powers (brilliant writer, absolutely brilliant) notwithstanding, I took an afternoon off from bird watching to fill out the Nemesis Test form. I am, as you probably already know, a Super-Genius, proven time and time over again. Objective? Natural you should ask, because why would I wish to re-prove my well-established ratio, IQ = 207.005!!?? (Conservative representation, some scores are several thousandths better. In fact, tested as a pup, my ratio was proven out much higher than this.)
Indeed. Well, I shall tell you why I dashed off the Nemesis. I simply wanted to have a meaningful, high-level ornithological discourse with someone perhaps nearer to my level of genius. Rabbits, bears, groundhogs, and even other coyotes are fairly, er, primitive.
If you have been following my entries in the Guestbook of Giga, you will see that I dispute my score received on this Nemesis!! This test has been either wrongly graded, or else wrongly constructed!! I have been wronged!!! I AM A SUPER GENIUS, THE SCORE I RECEIVED IS IMPOSSIBLE!!!! Would the fabulous Professor Maximus stand for such a thing? Not a chance. He would complain, and complain, and whine, and cry, and pout, and yelp, and scream, and holler, and bark, and call everybody and their Roadrunners on the carpet for such malfeasance!!
In my last entry to the Giga Guestbook, I accuse and denounce the entire pusillanimous membership (two guys + Cageman), and challenge them to "suck it up and take a real test." Take the Nemesis, you cringing, quaking, pants-wetters who hide behind the silly "Numbers" test. The puny "Numbers", accepted for nothing and written for CHILDREN!! Will they? No, of course not-they are not men-they are not birds, they are reptiles. (I really need Professor Maximus of quill-dipped-in-poison-frog-sweat-fame to help out here with the muckraking.)
I await some response to my diatribe, so that I may be shown to be a wrongful accuser. Prove that my test was graded fairly, if you can, with your own scores!!! I won't hold my breath, though.
Wile E. (Super Genius)